At my heaviest I was 24st 13lbs and it sucked but I take solace in knowing I will never be that weight again and I will never get heavier than that.
However, my “weight loss journey” was never to lose weight, I had been working on accepting and loving myself the way I was and the weight loss was just a happy side effect to bettering my health and fitness. But that doesn’t mean I don’t get happy when I see the weight fall off and annoyed when I see it come back.
In the last 2 months I have put on quite a bit of weight and it sucks because I know it was all me. I am naturally a savory person but when I am surrounded but chocolate and sweets it is really hard to resist them. This is only worsened by my eating disorder and me using food as a reward and punishment system.
And this is what I have to remind myself: I’m not the same person I once was, I’m not even the same person I was yesterday. It is ok to put on weight, it is ok to lose weight, you are not perfect. I am claiming a mountain of my own creation, it is going to be hard.
In the last 2 months I have gone from 15.9 to 16.4, that a 9lbs weight gain and it sucks. It is times like this I use to think ‘Why can’t I eat like everyone else? Why me? Why can’t I eat normally?’
But that’s the thing: I can’t. That doesn’t mean I don’t get to have my vices but my body works differently and I have to accept it. My dad ate pretty much the same things as me and he lost while I gain. And yes, it is trash but it is what it is. I either accept this or not and “not” is not a viable choice for better health.
But, I digress, how do I deal with craving (when I don’t give in)? I distract myself. If I stay around the temptation I will give in, I have a strong will but not with a habit of a life time. I personally either workout or go for a walk and get coffee. On the occasions I still want a treat, then I work for it. I walk to a shop that nearly 3 miles away from my home, buy a small treat and walk back. Walking then has and incentive and it allows me to work off the treat. (for the record, I still workout even if I do go for a walk and I don’t class this as part of my workout)
Over time this will help you add a positive spin on going for walks until you no longer feel you need to buy the chocolate or whatever your prefered poison is.